Register today and support the many programs of Crossroads. Join us as we honor men and women who are making great impact in the lives of the people of Long Island.
Register today and support the many programs of Crossroads. Join us as we honor men and women who are making great impact in the lives of the people of Long Island.
At Crossroads we are excited about the New Year as new opportunities abound for us to expand our services, our outreach in the community and to complete much needed renovations to our facility!
I Want to thank you for your support in 2012 and look forward with great anticipation for your continued support in 2013!
So much is happening! Click here to see our new programs starting soon. Set your calendar for our 7th Annual Man and Woman of the Year luncheon on March 23rd and our second annual dinner dance on September 21st .
In these challenging times many families are in crisis, marriages are struggling, young people need support! Drug addiction is not only on the rise but is increasingly fatal today. Our staff at Crossroads are making a difference in the lives of our clients who are experiencing addiction, depression, anxiety, self mutilating behavior, loneliness and bereavement, etc. Click here to read some testimonials written by clients who have received our services.
Any financial support you can give will help our licensed professional counselors to help more people, to complete our building renovations and to hire a part time secretary this year. 2013 is our year of continued expansion! You are a vital part!
Thank you for your partnering with us!
Jay A. Hart MSW, LCSW
“But you were always a good man of business, Jacob, faltered Scrooge.
Business!’ cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. “Mankind was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The deals of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”
Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
My son is 17 and was only recently diagnosed with Asperger’s. I had been looking for a support group for him since his diagnosis but had no luck finding one. Imagine my surprise when I found it, smack in the middle of my Pennysaver! I couldn’t call quick enough! I thought for sure this must be the first time they ever ran the ad! Not only did they offer counseling for my son but they had a Parent Support group as well. What an awesome idea. I can’t stress how much of a difference this has made in both our lives plus the family dynamics has changed so much as well. Both my son and I look forward to Monday night. Steven has forged new friendships with boys who “get” him and he “gets” them too! I love the session time with the parents. I have learned so many new resources from other parent’s experiences. I had no idea about all of the programs offered by the school (summer camps, work programs etc.) Plus, we share experiences that we have had with our sons. What works, what wasn’t so successful, etc. I find these sessions with the other parents invaluable and I look forward to them just as much as my son does. The semesters are broken down into 10 week sessions with a couple of weeks off in between. As far as cost, it is $10 per week (yes this covers -parent and child!!) Yes, a crime is being committed-robbery. It is a crime not to attend!
I hope this counseling for kids with Asperger’s never ends! I feel that I have learned a great deal from our sessions and I can see my son’s self-esteem has gone up a lot too. That is something you can’t put a a price on. Crossroads is a wonderful program and you owe it to yourself and your child to try it out. I promise it’s worth the try!
A very grateful Parent
Reblogged written by Dwight Bain
A major election leads to major change—psychologically, that is. No matter who wins an election, the unexpected emotional letdown or explosive reaction after the ballots are counted can be overwhelming to many—especially the aged or over-involved, who can be set up for crushing amounts of what I call “Post-Election Stress Syndrome.”
This election has likely been the most stressful of any during our lifetime because of numbing news fatigue and continual media overexposure, yet the real problems are yet to come.
Personal anxiety, professional panic and poorly thought-out decisions are on the horizon regardless of your political persuasion.
Why Such a Gloomy Projection?
It’s based on how this election process has been so overwhelming much of the time with months of negative news, never-ending data to process, and confusing choices to make on complex issues while partisan experts are shouting every half hour on news/talk stations that we are all doomed if their candidate doesn’t win. Not to mention the huge challenge on who is trustworthy, since you often don’t know who will say something inappropriate on YouTube and crash their credibility, leaving you feeling very alone to make some major decisions without leaders who lacked the strength of character to stand on their convictions instead of popular opinion polls.
Mountaintop experiences guarantee the next step is always the valley.
Think of a major campaign like climbing a major mountain range. You prepare for years and climb for months to finally reach the top. Once there the view is great. You take some pictures, but you can’t stay on a mountaintop; so no matter which way you head, it’s down in any direction. After the mountaintop comes the valley, which is a normal part of life. The danger is that for many people the downward slide is so unexpected.
Most actual mountain-climbing accidents happen on the way down, and I project that there will be millions of people who are unprepared for the emotional upheaval they are about to experience after the election is over.
Everyone will feel some degree of emotional letdown once the issues have been decided and the acceptance speeches are given. That’s normal. However, for some the removal of posters, signs, balloons and banners will lead to a free-fall of depressing emotions. If someone has been a “news junkie” the last few months it will be especially stressful. Those feelings of distress will come out in one of two ways:
1) Anger:This can lead to violence and impulsive decisions. People who feel violated by the election process will often turn to dumping volcanic levels of anger at someone or something to find relief for the pressure inside. This can lead to devastating decisions, impulsive rage or using the wrong words in front of the wrong people and losing credibility, or worse—a job. This can happen in men or women, young or old, but is most commonly seen in more extroverted personalities and it tends to blow up and blow out fast.
2) Apathy:This is a more dangerous reaction, since it can lead from distress to the early stages of depression. Stuffing emotions inside is like burying them alive and they just keep building up, yet instead of blowing up and out, they blow in. This leads a person to feel emotionally numb, and often can cause an individual to commit a series of very quiet, yet very harmful self-destructive acts. Eating for comfort, drinking to numb the pain, hooking up with the wrong partner to try and forget about the election, or just refusing to answer the phone, closing the mini-blinds and checking out on life like a hermit hiding in a dark cave.
The best choice after an election is completed is acceptance.
It’s over and now it’s time to move on with whatever leaders and issues the majority of voters selected. You can’t change the outcome of an election, but you can freak yourself out with fears about the future apocalypse predicted by many. Don’t do that! Life will go on, and your world will continue. God is bigger than any politician and isn’t in a panic, so trust in heaven’s agenda—and not that of Washington, D.C.—and you’ll immediately find a deeper level of peace.
What happens in your house is way more important than what happens in the White House; you can’t control what political leaders do, but you can control you. Let this journey off of the political “mountain” be one of a growing sense of perspective as you remember that after the valley there will be another mountain to climb. There will be another day to vote on national issues and when the dust settles your life will usually be about as good as you choose to make it.
This approach takes the power to control your mood away from the politicians or the media, so you can build a better life without losing sleep or energy from the dangers of Post-Election Stress Syndrome.
Reprinted with permission from LifeWorksGroup.org eNews (Copyright, 2004-2012, by the LifeWorks Group).
ANNOUNCING OUR FIRST ANNUAL DINNER DANCE
DATE: September 15, 2012
TIME: 7-10 pm
COST: Tickets cost $30
WHERE: Held at the Farmingville Fire Department
70 Horseblock Road, Farmingville
Our first annual dinner dance is being held to benefit the many programs at Crossroads Counseling Center. Please consider supporting this event as it will help us to continue to serve our community with affordable professional counseling services. If you cannot attend would you consider donating to the Center.
Please visit our website to purchase your tickets or to make a donation?
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!
Agitation, restlessness, anxiety, confusion, sleepless nights, lack of motivation, poor productivity, difficulty concentrating, depression, loss of work, failing grades, relationship problems…
“Excuse me!…i got a Text , a tweet, a fb status updates, 10 notifications, an instagram update, an IM’s, 5 new emails, oovoo notifications, gotta make a FaceTime call, watch a YouTube video, check my pinterest, and go on that site (I’d rather not tell you where!), oh! I just received an xbox invite…ah! What did you say? Wait, let me pause my Netflix movie…”
A generation of techies today are becoming increasingly dependent upon their electronic devices. Computers/laptops, iPhones/androids/blackberries, Xbox/play station, and what now has become old fashion, the TV. Modern technology and innovation has invaded our private spaces and has captured the minds of both the young and the old alike.
Brain scan studies show that excessive use of electronic devices can cause the same brain changes that are seen in alcoholics and drug addicts! One study describes 17 men and women who were diagnosed with Internet addiction disorder (IAD) and compared scans of their brains to scans of 16 healthy people who weren’t addicted to the web. Study participants were between the ages of 14 and 21 and lived in China. The researchers found more patterns of “abnormal white matter” on brain scans of Internet addicts, compared with scans of non-addicts. White matter areas in the brain contain nerve fibers that transmit signals to other parts of the brain. These changes showed evidence of disrupting pathways related to emotions, decision-making, and self control.
The researchers said earlier studies have found similar white matter changes in the brain scans of people addicted to alcohol, cocaine, heroin, marijuana, meth, and ketamine (also known as “Special K”)!
Dr. Henrietta Bowden Jones, consultant psychiatrist at Imperial College in London states: “The majority of people we see with serious Internet addiction are gamers – people who spend long hours in roles in various games that cause them to disregard their obligations,” Jones told The Independent. “I have seen people who stopped attending university lectures, failed their degrees or their marriages broke down because they were unable to emotionally connect with anything outside the game.”
Two psychiatrists in Taiwan have diagnosed a new mental disorder they call IAD – (iPhone Addiction Disorder) giving two case examples of extreme iPhone overuse by individuals.
In one case, a high school adolescent male patient was diagnosed with the condition because he was staring at his iPhone screen 24 hours a day, staying up at night surfing the internet, even causing him to miss school frequently. The adolescent required hospitalization on a psychiatric ward due to the inability to part with his iPhone.
In the other case, a 31 year old female saleswomen was diagnosed after she was unable to focus while driving due to constantly using her iPhone while at stoplights – impairing her ability to drive properly.
iPhone addiction, Internet addiction, gamer addiction is a growing phenomon seen in today’s counseling rooms including the Crossroads Counseling Center. It is affecting marriages, causing depression, causing people to loose their jobs, and students to flunk out of school. It is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
One of the study asked 200 students at Stanford University to describe their relationship to their iPhones.1 Seventy-five percent of the respondents admitted that they slept with their iPhone next to them. Forty-four percent confessed that they were quite addicted to their phones, and 90 percent admitted to some level of addiction. Forty-one percent said that if they lost their iPhone, it would be “a tragedy” (which means an event causing great suffering, destruction, and distress, such as a serious accident, crime, or natural catastrophe). Only 10 percent said they weren’t addicted at all, while seven percent reported that their roommates felt neglected because of the iPhone coming between them. Nine percent said they had “patted” their iPhones, and eight percent believed their iPod was jealous of their iPhone.2 (Now I may be wrong here, but I’d be willing to bet the eight percent were yanking the researchers’ chains on this answer.)
Another study took MRI brain scans of subjects who listened as their iPhones rang. The scans showed activation in the brain region associated with love and compassion. In fact, the subjects reacted to the ringing phones in the same way they would be expected to react to their partners. Additionally, researchers used MRI brain scans of subjects looking at photos of Apple products compared with scans of subjects looking at images of the Pope and other religious icons. Guess what? He found the results “uncannily similar.”
At Crossroads our counselors recognize this issue and provide compassionate care. How does one become free from electronic addiction and gain control of their life? The first step to treatment is admitting that there is a problem. Recognize that addiction exists. Develop a plan of living a life free of dependency from your devices. You have many options:
You may Talk to a friend
You may Talk to a counselor
You may Join a 12 step group
If you would like to meet with a counselor at Crossroads you may contact the center by phone or email. You may meet with a counselor in person or have a therapy session over the phone. if you have a son/daughter, friend or significant other who may be addicted to their electronic devices please forward this blog post to them.
This fall Crossroads is reaching into our community by expanding our programs! We seek to address social problems by opening up some new groups for teens, parents, Latinos, and men’s issues.
The following groups will be held this Fall and registration is now open. (You can register or inquire for more information on the form at the end of this blog post.)
Project Aspire- group geared to teach teens who have issues with anxiety & depression. Groups teaches coping skills involving peer pressure, violence, family conflict, bullying and educational issues. Focus will be teaching the members of the group about their issues, the importance of maintaining good health, participating in medication treatment, and enhancing self-esteem. Additionally, we focus on behavior modification and ways of appropriately communication. The group also focuses goals and objectives that the teens have for their future. The group provides tools to teach better choice making and critical thinking through role-playing, and many creative activities. The teens are also taught how to reach out to resources in the community as well as in crossroads in the times of crisis.
Challengers- this group focuses on teens who has been diagnosed with Aspergers or PDD (nos). It teaches the members about appropriate socialization, how to make friends, keep friends and differentiate between good friends and bad friends. The group is taught about their diagnosis and the how to cope with their differences. They are taught that even though they have a diagnosis and may stand out from the crowd they still have a chance to live a healthy and happy life. With this group they work toward goals and objectives in a fun way that guides them through their journey to being productive and happy in life with diagnosis.
Parent Support Group for Parents with Children with Disabilities:
This support group is a place where parents can talk to other parents who understand their unique struggles and challenges. Sessions will be facilitated by an experienced social worker, while specialists will be invited to explore topics such as behavior modification, nutrition, political issues and navigating the educational system.
Life Hurts God Heals
This group is a spiritual program using the Bible to help teens to process and discuss some of life’s toughest issues that they are experiencing. The curriculum is comprised of 13 lessons. Within these lessons, students commit to take 8 steps that will help them grow spiritually. For example, one step is for them to admit that they can’t do life on their own and that they need God and others. Because these commitments take 13 weeks, these weeks are referred to as a journey. At times the journey will be bumpy and at times it will be smooth. But the most important part is to stay committed to the road they’ve begun–the road to healing. Life Hurts God Heals touches on real life issues, hurts and pains and giving participants the tools they need to heal.
Men’s Anger Management Group
Anger is a very powerful emotion that can stem from feelings of frustration, hurt, annoyance, or disappointment. Suppressed anger can be an underlying cause of anxiety and depression. Anger that is not appropriately expressed can disrupt relationships, affect thinking and behavior patterns, and create a variety of physical problems. In addition, anger can be linked to problems such as emotional and physical abuse, and other negative behavior. This group is for men to learn about their anger, the impact it has on relationships. Emphasis will be learning a tool set for change. Topics discussed are as follows:
· The positive and negative aspects of anger as an emotion.
· The connection between addictive behaviors and negative emotions.
· The consequences of learning inappropriate responses to anger.
· The anger and rage connection to a belief system of power and control.
· Physical, emotional and mental techniques that help to defuse anger.
· How to recognize high-risk situations.
· How to transform anger into a positively motivating emotion.
Men’s Support Group for Spouses with Breast Cancer
Group held monthly for men to meet with other men whose spouses have been diagnosed with breast cancer. The goal of this group is give men an opportunity to share their feelings and struggles with other men who are experiencing similar issues.
English as a Second Language Classes
Classes will be held in beginner and intermediate English with an emphasis on helping class participants increase their ability to communicate better on the job and within the community. Class is taught by a master’s level teacher in English as a second language.
To register or to inquire for more information click here
If you’re like a lot of people, you may wonder from time to time if counseling is the answer for you. Maybe you are experiencing a time of loneliness or depression? Perhaps you are struggling with being overwhelmed by stress or anger? Your marriage relationship could use some help, or you need somebody to support you as you raise your children? Whether is personal struggles, or some type of addiction that is bothering you, counseling might be your answer.
You may hesitate to call a counselor because you have questions about counseling. The counseling relationship is a place you can feel accepted no matter what your struggle or difficulty is. It is a safe place where you can learn and grow personally and spiritually at your own pace. You have heard the cliche,”What is said in Vegas stays in Vegas.” That’s how it is with the counselor-therapist relationship. Confidentiality is important so that a positive trusting relationship is gained and maintained.
Counseling is beneficial for a wide range of issues. It can be for an individual, a couple or for an entire family. Techniques vary depending on the counselor and the presenting problem. There are some consistencies however:
Counseling is work! You will be asked to establish goals with your counselor and home work is often assigned to help you achieve these goals.
Counseling helps you to understand what you have control over and how to take personal responsibility for those things.
Goals and progress are evaluated on a regular basis.
The counselor will point out your strengths and help you uncover your potential. This is called empowerment and is a key to successful outcomes.
The counselor will assist you in developing supports within your family and/or community to help you maintain the positive outcome that you are gaining (To keep the ball rolling”).
Frequency of sessions and duration of counseling is jointly agreed on.
You may be wondering how long counseling lasts…
First of all counseling is voluntary. You can terminate counseling at any time.
The pace and duration of counseling is largely determined by you.
The more diligent you are putting into practice insights you gain will impact how long it takes to accomplish your counseling goals.
It’s typical to begin meeting with your counselor on a weekly basis for about 45 minutes then graduate to biweekly sessions and then to a monthly time of maintenance and support.
Depending on your goals, this process can take from a few months to a year or more. The average length of time is about 6 months. Again, your progress largely depends on you and the effort you put forth into accomplishing your goals.
You may inquire further at www.crossroadcounselingcenter.com. Our professional counselors will be happy to set up a counseling session with you to discuss your concerns. If you would like you may request a half hour phone session.
I totally failed the test....
Sometimes it's just so hard not to get frustrated!
Have you ever been so frustrated to the point that you start crying.....well, that was me yesterday!
For starters, I was hungry. I was on my way to work and I was going to stop somewhere and get something to eat. Then, it just so happens that there was some MAJOR traffic.