To Register for this event go to Crossroads Counseling Center web site.

Sometimes life becomes full of too many responsibilities and pressures that things can become very overwhelming.  Whether it is the bills that are piling up, the kids who are misbehaving, bad news from the doctor or your marriage has become very difficult.  Maybe you feel helpless, depressed or anxious? You might feel totally stressed out, like you want to pull all of your hair out or could hide under your pillow for a week!  It is during these times that it is very helpful to talk to a good friend or family member. It is also a time to increase your faith by remembering to pray, to read the Bible and go to church.  Faith is the single most effective way to overcome stress and anxiety when life  seems to spin out of control.

If you are a person who is sensitive to anxiety, however, you may experience what is called a panic attack.   Having a panic attack is very different from being stressed out! It is part of what is called “panic disorder.”   Panic disorder can range from a mild anxiety attack or a major attack. These attacks can occur one time a year or up to several times a day!  Panic Attacks generally peak in about 10 minutes and can last for several hours.

Did you know that panic attacks are the number one mental health problem for women?  In fact panic or anxiety attacks affect twice as many women as men.  Sometimes it just starts out of the blue for no apparent reason and can become problematic occurring at the least likely moment.

Panic attacks can be debilitating!  The Anxiety takes a form  of intense fear causes both psychological and physical symptoms.

Some examples are…

• Feeling of depersonalization (a feeling of watching oneself act, while having no control over a situation)
• Discomfort or pain in chest
• Feeling like you’re choking
• Feeling like you’re going crazy
• Nausea or abdominal discomfort
• Heart palpitations or racing heart
• Think you’re going to die
• Sense of impending doom
• Trembling or shaking
• Shortness of breath
• Sweating/hot flushes
• Tingling sensations/numbness

If you are experiencing Panic Attacks and feel out of control know that you are  not alone, and there are ways to overcome them.  Sometimes medication is helpful however it is not aways necessary. You can learn how to live a life free from fear and panic!

Here are some steps that will help you:

ONE   Identify your fears. Panic attacks are all about Fear. The first step is to identify what is triggering your panic attacks. Identifying the fear is the most important step.

TWO  Monitor your thoughts during a panic attack. Most people who experience panic attacks have triggers, thoughts that cause their body to go into panic. A panic attack triggers the fight or flight response in a human being causing all sorts of uncomfortable sensations. Rapid Heart beat, light-headedness, changes in vision, etc. These are all perfectly normal, and they have no harmful effects on your health. You cannot, and will not die. You must identify the thoughts. Pay attention to your thought process, most people have a fearful thought, then it triggers a ‘sensation’ in the body, you then pay attention to that sensation, and more fearful thoughts arise, it is a big cycle, and goes in a circle until you are into a full blown panic attack.

THREE  Once these thoughts are identified, use cognitive feedback. Face your fears, tell yourself positive things, what is the worst that could happen? One of the major contributors to panic attacks is blowing things out of proportion. Tell yourself that you are in control of your own mind and body, understand the sensations are normal that you are feeling, and don’t fear them. If you don’t fear them, they will not continue to exist. Stop these thoughts before they trigger these sensations and lead into a panic attack. It takes much practice, but you can prevent Panic Attacks. You must face all your fears until they become mundane, and do not bother you any more. Fear is based upon some illogical thoughts and usually highly unfounded. Of course there are many things to fear, but not the extent that you do. Also, do not try to suppress your scary thoughts, that will not help. Instead, let them come into your mind, don’t deny them, then deal with them appropriately. Use reasoning techniques to battle these thoughts and take control back.

FOUR   And last, do not fear panic attacks themselves. They are harmless, no matter how terrible you feel, they will not harm you in any form. You are still in control even when you are having them. Do your best to keep this in your mind, no matter how uncomfortable you feel during one, there is absolutely no harm coming your way. You will be okay, and it will pass. Practice the above techniques until you have regained control of your own mind’s peace. It takes practice, but you will overcome them.

Panic attacks are only a symptom of panic disorder. Many people have panic attacks, but may not necessarily have panic disorder. There are many different types of anxiety disorders of which panic attacks may be a symptom. Therefore knowing the symptoms of a panic attack is not enough. If you are experiencing some of these symptoms get a professional diagnosis.  At Crossroads  Counseling Center we treat panic Disorder and can help you overcome your anxiety.

 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything  by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  

Philippians 4:6

Therapeutic group facilitated by N.Y.S. licensed Social Worker designed to help participants to increase and refine their social skills in a supportive and fun environment!  Emphasis will be on peer interaction, decision-making, and reducing social anxiety.

When:  Sessions to be held on Tuesdays 6:30-8:00 pm starting March 6, 2012

Where:      Crossroads Counseling Center

First Building, upstairs office

440 Furrows Road, Holbrook NY

Cost:           10 Week Sessions; $10 per session or $80 if paid in advance.

                       (Insurance reimbursement available)

Parent session will be held during the socialization group.  Topics may include medication therapy, education and career planning, behavior modification, nutrition and diet.  Guest professionals in the fields of psychology, nutrition, nursing and politics will be invited to present relevant information and answer questions. There will be no charge for the parent group but  a free will donation will be accepted.

To enroll please call Crossroads Counseling Center at 631-714-5407 or you may register online at www.crossroadcounselingcenter.com

 Denial is one of our most common defenses. In the case of a loved one struggling with a life controlling addiction problem, we demonstrate denial when we feel the need to protect or cover up their behavior. Sometimes we struggle with our own problems but deny them even to ourselves…or we underestimate their gravity and the damage they cause to others and ourselves. A big cause for denial is the belief that our denial will keep our loved ones or ourselves “safe.” In reality, denial shuts down problem-recognition, assessment, and the identification and implementation of the necessary solutions. You see, denial only leads to more problems because it is distorted thinking that leads only to destruction and helplessness.

One of the main reasons we develop dysfunctional defenses is our lack of confidence in, and our inability to handle discomfort. Some of the most common negative feelings you may experience include anger, anxiety, jealousy, sadness, fear, guilt, feeling overwhelmed, lonely, and shame. Are you struggling with any of these feelings or similar ones? Are you smiling your way through each day while the struggle inside you rages? These negative feelings aren’t sins, but they are uncomfortable.

 Amazingly, The  Bible is THE book about why we are in pain and what God has provided to ease and melt away our pain. God’s Word frequently promises and instructs that He and His peace are always available as shown in the many biographies revealed to us in scripture.

Today, return to the place of honestly acknowledging your true feelings and dealing with them like an adult should. Your first step out of the struggle is to admit the feelings to yourself, to God, and to others you know you can trust. No Pain, No Gain. God will provide and equip. Act as if these 2 statements are true…and see miraculous growth happen for you…and for your relationship with God. Only then can you begin the road out of the cover-up and into recovery. Your decision, so choose well.

Article taken from Stepping Stones Helpline.  http://www.lighthousenetwork.org/content/

Crossroads Counseling supports the Celebrate Recovery program which meets on Wednesdays at 7. It is a Christian 12 step program that helps people overcome the “hurts, habits and hangups” that happen when addiction and other life difficulties occur.  All are welcome!

Crossroads Counseling Center also supports Heroin Anonymous which meets on Monday nights at 8pm.  For directions or more information see our website.

At Crossroads we have counselors who are trained to support those in recovery as well as help family members overcome the difficulties of the effects of addiction on the family.  Call today for an appointment.

Less well known is the harsh relentlessness of daily life (war-zone) in a returning Iraqi veteran’s, which slowly chips away at one’s sense of safety, emotional resiliency and character.  For the soldier, war is his drug.  Life back home becomes dull and frustrating.  Normal situations make one feel a sense of anxiety, of desperation, as if constantly hoping for a sudden horrible rage  to sweep across and take normal “right down to hell.”  For soldiers who were on constant alert in Iraq & Afghanistan, it is not easy to turn off the habits of wartime survival, as the experience of hyper-vigilence can interfere with life back home.

All wars are hell.  Iraq is a unique brand of horror…a confluence of environmental, political, and cultural factors that make it the “perfect festering pot of psychological damage.  Some 70% of Iraq soldiers suffer from major depression, generalized anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder [PTSD] which is the emerging signature disability of this war experience.

PTSD, is characterized by:  flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and social withdrawal which can manifest itself months or years after the trauma.  The DOD estimates that between 15-29% of veterans from the wars in Iraq &Afghanistan will suffer with PTSD.

Combat PTSD is hard to define; those who have it or are susceptible to it are hard to identify, and not everyone agrees on who should be treated, when they should be treated, or which interventions are most effective for veterans.  At this time, there are no standard treatment protocols.  It’s a war few who haven’t seen combat can truly understand, and it poses a dilemma in treatment.  The soldiers believe that unless you have been in the horrors of war, you just do not get it.

According to Charles Figley, director of the Traumatology Institute, a “tsunami” of mental health problems will result from the current wars.  He states that “neither the government, nor society, nor the mental health community is prepared to handle it”.  This is a result of the troops’ experiences such as:  guerrilla tactics, roadside IED’s, suicide bombers, nipper fire, an undistinguishable insurgency.  There is no rest or relaxation for these soldiers who are sleeping, eating, and living in war.

Nearly 90% of troops are involved in some kind of firefight.  Many have seen their buddies blown to pieces and more than half of the soldiers have had to handle human remains [which is incomprehensible].   The soldiers are all at risk from the insurgents  who have an ability to retaliate against, and come out of nowhere, in an indiscriminate manner.  All of this increases the risk for PTSD because they all live with the constant threat of their own demise, as well as your peers.

The physicality of the area the troops are subjected to include:

1. average temperature of 126 degrees [130 in the ‘steaming latrines’]
2. limited ability to shower
3. blistering heat and blowing grit, fine sand like talc floats in the air
4. limited access to latrines
5. drenched in sweat leading to dehydration

Many soldiers feel shamed by their wartime acts and fear misunderstanding and harsh judgment.  Civilian therapists must be extremely knowledgeable about the war experience if they are to help veterans.  There is a cultural gulf between those who have been socialized to survive in combat and those who have not.  To heal a psychologically wounded veteran requires an intimate understanding of what is like to have been to hell and not fully come back.

Submitted by:   Iris Richman Pappalardo, R.N., LCSW

If you are looking for a therapist who is experienced in working with veterans and families of veterans you may contact the Crossroads Counseling Center by phone or email and we would be happy to assist you.

People today are becoming more aware of a syndrome that is called Asperger.  Named after a German man Hans Asperger, it is a high functioning type of Autism.  The CDC estimates that 1 in 110 children in America are born with Autism, this is a whoping 1% of the us population.  Aspergers Syndrome is seen more frequeintly in boys than in girls.
According to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition (DSM-IV, 1994) as well as the International Classification of Diseases, 10th edition (ICD10) (3) & (15), Asperger’s Syndrome is characterized by an:

• Impairment of social interaction
• Impairment of social communication
• Impairment of social imagination, flexible thinking and imaginative play
• Absence of a significant delay in cognitive development
• Absence of general delay in language development

As  mentioned, asperger is a form of  autism, or more specifically “Autism Spectrum Disorder” (ASD).  This is a neurological condition that causes an impairment of  language and communication skills, as well as repetitive thinking and habits.

Parents usually sense there is something unusual about their child by the time of his or her third birthday. Unlike children with autism, children with aspergers don’t loose their early language skills.  The first indicators of the disorder are usually certain “Motor development delays” – crawling or walking late, or more commonly, clumsiness.

What are the most common signs or symptoms?

The most common sign is a child’s obsessive interest in a single object or a particular topic!  Children can become experts on trains, makes and models of cars, or sports statistics.  They want to know everything about their topic of interest and they are obsessed with that topic! Usually these children aren’t interested in talking about anything else.

Another common symptom is how they talk!  Speech therapists refer to their speech as “marked by a lack of rhythm, an odd inflection, or a monotone pitch.”

An aspergers child might lack the understanding to talk softly when entering a library or a movie theatre.  This is mainly because of their deficit in understanding social situations.  For instance,  they are not able to make normal conversation because of their  inappropriate or eccentric behavior, or by wanting to only to talk about one particular topic.

How is it diagnosed?

Most doctors rely on the presence of a core group of behaviors to alert them to the possibility of a diagnosis of Aspergers.   These are:

• abnormal eye contact
• aloofness
• the failure to turn when called by name
• the failure to use gestures to point or show
• a lack of interactive play
• a lack of interest in peers

Some of these behaviors may be apparent in the first few months of a child’s life, or they may appear later.  Problems in at least one of the areas of communication and socialization or repetitive, restricted behavior must be present before the age of 3.

Diagnosis is a two-stage process. 

1. The first stage begins with developmental screening during a “well-child” check-up with a family doctor or pediatrician.
2. The second stage is a comprehensive team evaluation to either rule in or rule out Aspergers.    This team generally includes a psychologist, neurologist, psychiatrist, speech therapist.

The comprehensive evaluation includes neurologic and genetic assessment, with in-depth cognitive and language testing to establish IQ and evaluate psychomotor function, verbal and non-verbal strengths and weaknesses, style of learning, and independent living skills.    An assessment of communication strengths and weaknesses includes evaluating non-verbal forms of communication (gaze and gestures); the use of non-literal language (metaphor, irony, absurdities, and humor); patterns of inflection, stress and volume modulation; pragmatics (turn-taking and sensitivity to verbal cues); and the content, clarity, and coherence of conversation.  The physician will look at the testing results and combine them with the child’s developmental history and current symptoms to make a diagnosis.

This article is  part of a series that I am writing on Aspergers Syndrome.  Additional articles include:

“Aspergers in Adolescence”

“What is social skills training?”

“Famous people with Aspergers” (you might be surprised!)

At Crossroads we are conducting a social group for adolescents with Asperger’s Syndrome as well as a concurrent parent group.  If interested you may sign up here on our web site.

The New Year has arrived. We made it! Blessed to be part of 2012. Many of us have made pledges to improve our health, get out of debt, to make positive changes that would improve the quality of our lives. We have signed up for financial fitness classes, home buyers classes and health clubs.

I would like to remind some and introduce others to a club where I myself hold a lifetime membership .

Member’s of this club have testified to having power to lead thousands of people out of enslavement , being healed from incurable diseases, getting out of financial situations when they couldn’t find their way out, being freed from imprisonment, finding their mate, bearing children when the doctor says it’s impssible and a host of other benefits that many have received from this club. The benefits of this membership are above the platinum level, with infinite value. There is nothing that you ask for as a member of this club that you won’t receive, the quality of service is guaranteed. I welcome you to club “Holiness”, owned by God the father, co-partnered with his son Jesus the Savior, and guided by the Holy Spirit.

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS!!

Everybody is talking about it; whether your turn on the TV, open up a magazine or browse through your inbox.  People are concerned about bringing positive changes into their lives.  It might be diet or exercise, quitting smoking or drinking, going to church more and having a better attitude.  All of these things are good, even necessary for healthy living.  We think about making these changes throughout the year, but it is at this time that we feel the most hopeful that the changes that we desire will actually happen.  The heart of the issue of New Year’s Resolutions is breaking old negative habits and forming new and productive ones.

         ”Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters.” Nate Emmons

According to a research study done at Massachusetts of Technology (Grohol, John; PSYD) habits form “neural pathways” in our brain which reinforce our patterns of behavior.  Habits such as smoking, eating fatty foods, gambling, etc. affect the “neural activity” patterns in a specific area of the brain when habits are formed. These “neural patterns” created by habit can indeed be changed. But when a memory from the past (person, place, taste, smell, emotion etc) the mind automatically recalls the old habit pattern and brings about a “neural state” like that of being on autopilot.

“It is as though, somehow, the brain retains a memory of the habit context, and this pattern can be triggered if the right habit cues come back,” Ann Graybiel,  Professor of Neuroscience in MIT’s Department of Brain and Cognitive Sciences, said: “This situation is familiar to anyone who is trying to lose weight or to control a well-engrained habit. Just the sight of a piece of chocolate can reset all those good intentions.”

Diligence is needed to break from the old negative patterns! My experience has told me that the single most contributing factor to positive change is the presence of personal faith in God.  The Biblical writer stated: “…I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you” (Matthew 17:20).

According to popular authors and commentators, it takes 21 days to break a habit.  That’s an even 3 weeks.  Seems like a short time but it can feel like an eternity when trying to break away from a self-destructive habit. Faith will carry you to places that you cannot go on your own strength.  The Bible can dramatically impact your life: “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (1 Corinthians 12)

Tips for Changing Habits

Change starts when you make a decision:  When you make that decision you have to take a good hard look at any resistance you may toward changing your habits.  It might entail changing your daily routine or perhaps your immediate circle of friends.

Be committed to the change:  This is the challenging part – making a commitment.  In other words you will do whatever it takes to let go of your old behavior and to introduce new positive behaviors.  You’ve already looked at your old habit and you now know that it’s time to do something different.

Continue to take daily action:  Habits are with you every minute of every day, even when you aren’t thinking about them or doing them.  This is because when you’re not thinking, when the time comes, you will act out your old habit unless you have vowed to take consistent conscience daily action to change.

Reward yourself:  Every time you take a step toward breaking the habit, give yourself a small reward. As you take your daily actions to your new habit, remember that consistency is critical.

Don’t ever give up:  You may think that changing habits is too hard or that you don’t have the strength to change.  Break through your resistance!  When you are committed it will pass.  This is where personal faith will carry you. Prayer and mediation is a powerful tool that cannot be overstated.

Sometimes we are faced with habits that are very difficult to break by ourselves alone.  When this is the case it is important that you reach out to your friends and family members for encouragement and support.  At the Crossroads Counseling Center our team of professional counselors is trained to help in the change process.  Whether it be an addiction or a self-destructive habit we are here to empower you to meet your goal.  Our 12 step group called “Celebrate Recovery” has successfully helped hundreds of people change from negative self-destructive habits to lead more productive lives.

Contact us if you would like more information on Celebrate Recovery or would like to talk to a counselor about changes that you are working on in your life.

I would love to read your comments about this article.  What are your New Year’s resolutions?  How does your faith empower you in the transformation process?

Reblogged from LIFE – Love Is Fundamental to Existence:

We all experience stress from time to time. When stress gets to be too much, it can take a toll on our health and wellbeing. That’s why effective stress relievers are essential in restoring inner peace and physical health. Here is a growing list of stress relievers that can help you feel less affected by stress in your life. Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Your true sources of stress aren’t always obvious, and it’s all too …

George Bernard Shaw said: “Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.” Doug Larson on marriage is quoted: “More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.”

Conflict is growth trying to happen. It can lead you to a better relationship – if are aware of it and know how to work with it. Lets take a look at some red flags that may crop up that indicate trouble in the marriage that needs to be addressed. Awareness of these crisis points give opportunity to make positive change for the benefit of the marriage relationship.

Marriage Red Flags

• One spouse cares more about keeping the kids happy than keeping his/her spouse happy
• Conversations only revolve around the kids
• One spouse expects to get his or her way almost all the time
• One spouse makes public jokes at the other spouse’s expense.
• One spouse takes the other for granted
• One spouse is not interested in spiritual growth
• One spouse is not interested in meeting the other’s sexual needs
• One spouse is excessively jealous or is controlling
• One spouse tries to manipulate the other with guilt or threats
• One spouse is addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or pornography

(This is not a comprehensive list, please feel free to comment and add your thoughts at the end of the article)

EXERCISE: HOW DO WE COMPARE?

John Gottman suggests an exercise for married couples in his article in Psychology Today. “What makes marriage work? It’s how you resolve conflict that matters most,” published on March 1994. This exercise gives you a chance to see the strengths of your marriage by comparing yourselves to other couples in your lives.

1. Each of you jot down the names of four different couples you both know. Two should be examples of “bad” marriages; two of “good” marriages.

2. Now share the names with one another and tell why you feel the good marriages work and the bad marriages don’t. Perhaps you admire how one couple is raising their children, or you disapprove of the way another couple berates one another in front of company.

3. Talk about your own marriage in relation to these good and bad marriages. Compare the way you and your spouse manage to get through difficult times with the way each of these couples handle their challenges. Can you identify behaviors you want to avoid? Are there things you’d like to emulate?

4. Talk about your own ability as a couple to overcome hardship. Have you weathered episodes or incidents of which you’re particularly proud? If so, how did you do it?

Crossroads Counseling Center is committed to providing resources to help make marriages and families stronger. If we can help you visit our website and complete our comment form on the home page.

Thank you for visiting our blog. Please comment and pass our link to your friends.